Wow Matt—what a story! First of all, I’m so glad you’re still with us and be able to share what you learned —so others don’t make same mistakes.
Your writing did grip me—and do have to ask though—

You shared that no matter what if you could change the past, you probably would do it all the same—
Can you share why??

Or maybe that’s a good article you could write that absolutely fascinates me about us as humans? You experienced no doubt tremendous challenges and dangers that for someone like me: just the mere thought of danger wouldn’t make me attempt such a lifestyle not even 1000 miles away!
And as you said—from a young age—you were drawn to it.
I learned a lot reading this and as you shared—it’s just not expected.

I think that’s what’s hardest to understand about us humans who always seek patterns or rationale when sometimes there is none—we hate those vacuums —the “it just simply is what it is.”

I’m so happy that you’ve found your way out of that lifestyle. I’ll look to read more of your stories! For people like me—we only live it through the stories! Some of you are braver and dive all in! ;-)

Keep safe and well. Happy writing!