Raw, painful and authentic—so sorry Rachel you’ve experienced this and have found a way to share this so that others may learn/connect.
Deep down when I hear these stories—I’m always secretly wishing for reconciliation.
Some years ago, a friend helped me realize that even mothers can be toxic and need to be kept at a distance. A harsh reality to live for sure as you’ve well-described….
I hope the love of others continues to fill you and bring you some peace—as I’m sure grieving the loss of a parent who is still alive must be a life-long process as any other losses. Much love to you!!!