Joking aside...sorry Claudia to hear you have gone through this. That is not easy. My personal opinion is that your husband is the one who has to place the boundary - and you're trying to protect your own marriage, respect her, and yet place the healthy boundaries from the influence of in-laws...and that's too hard for the in-law. I had to place the boundary from my parents, my husband had to from his...we each have a freedom with our parents that as DIL and SIL makes it "icky." Seems like you've found a great place for peace of mind - so happy for you. Glad you feel free!

Keep well!