I’ve read so many stories in Medium, and certainly powerful ones, where the spouse is somewhat shocked by the affair. But I always have the voice in me saying: that sexual disconnect HAD to be there from the start, it just had to be. Maybe I’m wrong? But this writing, this piece to me nails it dead on. I’ve never had an affair—but man, I’ve put in the work big time for those conversations and nourishing that connection . It worked out for me. But I assure you, as you implied, had I not had a partner willing to put in the work—yep, one of us would have found elsewhere to have that need met. Period.
I hope this warns many a marriage!….