It took me awhile to understand what he’s proposing —seems like he’s axing one? And pushing two as paragraph one??

IF that’s the case—otherwise disregard the rest:

I’d either leave as is—or make paragraph 4 the start. Your paragraph 2-3 are brilliant but it’s hard for me to start right off with that—

Anyhow—like Maria, maybe I’m brain dead and nothing I’m saying makes sense.

Smillew and you both rock—fun to see you explore this editing—
I see you as a supreme editor so nice lesson for us all on taking helpful suggestions! 💓💓💓