I think many of the things you can write about are too intimate for Medium at this point. I want to encourage you to write intimate thoughts and feelings about what you are going through in anything in your personal journal. Years from now you'll look back and the change in perspective and life will then give you so much to reflect upon and appreciate.

Use the time to volunteer and find ways to learn about aspects of society and community that you are completely out of touch with - sure it will require an investment of time and energy - but that's what you have an abundant of time now. That will all come to a halt once the life of your child is in your hands - it consumes most and there's ever very little time for that beyond what you know and see.

I think you have a unique and blessed opportunity to expand your horizon at least in thought and action - surely within parameters that you think are safe.

I'm glad you are healthy and happy and well - life doesn't get much better than that! Write it all in your personal journal - I promise you:

Your 50 year old will get a huge smile out of it and so much more.

Have a wonderful end to your week and weekend Graceeee!!! 😘