Hope the flare has subsided, sorry you’ve been in pain….

If I may, I’m going to take a stab at the ending….for fun:

And yet…
I still think of him, and know what we’ve had is special and how much I’ve learned to love him so….
The times he does think of me also exist…and yet I’m frustrated because I’m in pain, and I want the comfort.
I’m tired of telling him what I need…
—-

Sometimes with breaks—you both gain clarity.

I’m still “in love” with your story recently when you both had such a special magical moment together…so I’ll be the reader who is not rooting for Dev but rather the one who seemed to have stolen your heart….

Hope it works out for you —for the best—with whoever your heart chooses.