Hey TAM - just listened to today's episode. And some thoughts - from someone who wasn't abused psychologically/mentally...so I say that so you can place it in the right category, and I do realize you were asking those who do have the experience to chime in. But felt led to share:

My first reaction was: what exactly is abusive language that is easily missed?

Secondly was: could they probably think it's coming across as abusive and it isn't?

I applaud the love, the care and the concern to make sure it doesn't repeat the cycle. But in a way I feel - you are the one being abused. I sense that constant having to go back and fix and alter creates an interruption of being...

Tam, I've been around a lot - A LOT - of different people of different walk in life - and many of who experienced abuse of all sorts. When I hear a friend - and the word friend is a very special word I choose carefully - express themselves that perhaps comes across strongly or that I don't understand-- my love for them transcends to the place of knowing they come with it all and are simply working with what they have at that moment in time.

I say that because I hope that there are friends who will give you the space for you to just be - and yes, maybe from time to time something is written or said that you would "redact" - but to let it go. I mean truthfully -

EVERY single one of us at some point or another and AGAIN - will say the wrong and do the wrong thing.

Recently a friend told me -- you always abandon me.

Hm - I winced in my mind, "What? Like always? Abandon?!" --

I recalled - she has been abandoned, since a child from the one who was to protect her: her mother. Later the one whom she loved, her dad - died. She's abandoned.

She holds steadily onto the ones who she senses love her and accept her. If she experiences a moment where she can't get a hold of someone she needs - she said to me in that moment that -

I teased her back. I let it go - I didn't hold onto it and she moved forward. To be clear - it was in a text/audio form.

But it's a microcosm of what I hope to explain -

I think it's beautiful you want to keep trying to be watchful. All I am saying is:

I hope there's beauty in also letting go knowing your heart is trying and not everything in the written and vocal word needs to be edited.

Keep safe and well -

BTW - you have a lovely podcast voice! I hope it grows and you continue to find joy, healing and tons of fun doing it!