Fenia...what a deeply touching letter; it's hard to watch your loved one fade away. I hear from many in my family that it's almost like two deaths..the one while they are alive turning into people you don't recognize and finally their physical death that then leaves guilt because it sometimes comes with relief.

My deepest condolences...and sweet one, you did the best you could with what you understood, don't hold that against yourself anymore. When he knew you -- I'm sure you showered him with love - and isn't that what matters?? Much love to you!!!